Any adult who can remember the last time they got one knows that you cannot look at a fresh raspberry without causing it to sting. Rinsing it with water is a teeth-gritting endeavor and applying any sort of chemical is, under the Geneva Convention, torture.
Thus my defense is that I didn't fully remember these facts.
Jamey got a humdinger of a raspberry at the local gymnastics facility last Saturday. I'm not normally the most germ-phobic creature in the world, but I was at the gym and it struck me that many a skin ailment could be lurking on the surfaces there.
So, there we are, hours later in the bathroom, replaying the age-old ritual:
"We need to disinfect that, Jamey." (grabbing hydrogen peroxide bottle)Jamey appraises the bottle skeptically.
"Will it sting?"
"No." (I state flatly, though a small voice inside says 'maybe....probably...')
I spray, he shrieks, and a few moments later, when he can be coherent, describes the preceding 10 seconds as the worst in his entire life.
He backed off on that assertion a little later, but the point is that it stung and I am now perceived as the household liar.
To further my defense, search google images for the word "staph".