Any adult who can remember the last time they got one knows that you cannot look at a fresh raspberry without causing it to sting. Rinsing it with water is a teeth-gritting endeavor and applying any sort of chemical is, under the Geneva Convention, torture.
Thus my defense is that I didn't fully remember these facts.
Jamey got a humdinger of a raspberry at the local gymnastics facility last Saturday. I'm not normally the most germ-phobic creature in the world, but I was at the gym and it struck me that many a skin ailment could be lurking on the surfaces there.
So, there we are, hours later in the bathroom, replaying the age-old ritual:
"We need to disinfect that, Jamey." (grabbing hydrogen peroxide bottle)Jamey appraises the bottle skeptically.
"Will it sting?"
"No." (I state flatly, though a small voice inside says 'maybe....probably...')
I spray, he shrieks, and a few moments later, when he can be coherent, describes the preceding 10 seconds as the worst in his entire life.
He backed off on that assertion a little later, but the point is that it stung and I am now perceived as the household liar.
To further my defense, search google images for the word "staph".
6 comments :
Next time say "yes it will sting, but it will sting a lot less than having the arm amputated later if we don't do this now" Of course I don't have kids, but I think it is good advice.
Tom
Tom, Tom, Tom!! It's obvious that you not only don't have kids, but you have not had a kid brother or kid sister, either!
It is true that one should never deliberately deceive a small child, especially if it's your own. On the other hand,it can be equally deceiving to tell a poor, scared little kid that the arm is going to "fall off" if disinfectant isn't used. The Grand Mother and I used the words, "It will (may) hurt (quite a bit, a little, a lot--choose one), but that's when the disinfectant is killing the germs!"
It's surprising how much pain a kid can tolerate when they think that germs are getting killed!!
Another reason you don't say
"amputated" is because they then say
"What's amputated?"
and you say
'It's when they cut something off'
and they say
"what?"
and you say
'like your arm'
and they say
"why would you cut off my arm?"
'I wouldn't but if it gets infected then the doctor would...besides it's your knee.'
"but you said 'arm'!"
'I know but I was speaking metaphorically.'
"Whats metaforcly?"
'Well I don't know if that is the right word or not, maybe analagously?'
"[blank stare]"
'[spraying] This might sting.'
It is a never ending slippery slope of masterful questioning designed to delay what they already know...it is gonna sting.
FEEL THE BURN!
I guess I have a lot to learn, but I don't have any pressing need to learn at this time :-)
Tom.
Well said Lief, sometimes too much talk is a bad thing. I have had your very conversation above more times than I care to recall.
Love your story James!
Love your dialog Lief!
I would recommend an after the fact follow-up. Even I recall requesting the apology of you and or Lief at various times. It's like a fire emergency. Handle the crisis and then do your clean up.
Even with all its little difficulties, its the best game in town.
Love, Mom
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